


The Doubt

by VolatileHeart



Series: Omegaverse [3]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkward Dates, Boyfriends, Bullying, Childhood, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Coming Out, Corporal Punishment, Crying, Denial, Disobeying Orders, Doubt, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Feminization, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, Guilt, Homophobia, Homosexuality, I Made Myself Cry, Implied Mpreg, Implied spanking, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Knotting, Lies, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Men Crying, Minor Injuries, Mother-Son Relationship, Motherhood, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Omega/Omega, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Other, Parenthood, Post Mpreg, References to Knotting, Sad Ending, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Serious, Sexual Equality, Sleepovers, Softball, Spanking, Sports, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Teenage Drama, Teenage Rebellion, Teenagers, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Virginity, Why Did I Write This?, conforming, pretending to be someone you're not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 17:19:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1991253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VolatileHeart/pseuds/VolatileHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Third story of my Omegaverse series.</p>
<p>Isaac has always been different from the other omegas- he loves sports and doesn't find alphas physically attractive. He decides that enough is enough and initiates sex with his boyfriend. He can't be gay... can he? Okay, he HAS kissed an omega, but it was just that one time!</p>
<p>This is the story of an omega who is forced to come to terms with his own sexuality. </p>
<p>Rather angst-y, might have a second chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Doubt

**Author's Note:**

> Omega/Omega. Angst ahead, ya'll. 
> 
> ATTENTION: This story is separate from the Pruitt family.

Isaac didn't ask to be different. 

Despite what the media might say, despite the brash comments from his peers, despite the little voice in the back of his head that put him down all the time, Isaac did not want to be different.

But, he was.

Let's start from the beginning- and I mean the beginning.

Isaac Holland was born in the early hours of a warm summer day. He was a small baby, weighing in at only 4 lbs and 6 oz., but he was a fussy one. Isaac was a singleton, an uncommon occurrence. He had a head of fuzzy blond hair and huge brown eyes. Aside from his frequent tantrums, his parents still claim that he was a happy little baby that never ceased to entertain them.   
Skip forward five years. He's in the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub while he watches his mother get ready for work. The omega was leaning over the counter, raking some sort of wand through his pale lashes, darkening them and exaggerating their appearance. Isaac remembered wondering why his mother was putting all of that stuff on his face- what was the purpose? When he gathered the nerve to ask, his parent merely replied, “I don't know... I guess it makes me feel prettier?” It was an absentminded reply, said without much thought. However, Isaac found it appalling.

“I don't get it.”

His mother's chuckle was still fresh in the his memory, warm and bubbling, the epitome of omegan cuteness. “You will when you're older, baby.”

Isaac shrugged and watched his mother dab pink lipstick across his plump lips. “I think you're pretty without makeup, too.” He commented shyly. 

The omega turned around and gently pinched his son's cheek appreciatively. “Thank you, sweetie.”

“Can I wear some?” He might as well try to figure out what the appeal was. Who knows? Maybe makeup actually did make you feel prettier, made you feel better about yourself. 

The similar blond thought for a moment, trying to decided whether or not his husband would approve. Stephen had been on edge lately, as it was. Isaac was sprouting like a weed and both parents didn't know if they were really okay with that or not.  
The omega smiled and nodded, bending down to get eye level with his son, lipstick in hand. He dabbed it across the child's lips just a couple of times. No reason to lay it on thick- Isaac was still their baby, and he would prefer to keep the boy looking that way.

Isaac smacked his lips and stood, peering into the mirror. The substance felt heavy and suffocating on his lips. He didn't like it. “Am I prettier now?” He asked his mother.

At a loss for words, the omega opted to dab the makeup off of his son's lips with a wipe as he thought up a response. Finally, when the boy's mouth was clean, he responded, “You're always pretty.”

That had been the first time that the thought entered Isaac's mind- “I'm different.” Typically at that age, little omegas begged and pleaded with their mothers to try on makeup, sometimes sneaking it out by themselves and making a huge mess. However, Isaac had stayed far away from it, even cringing whenever his mother kissed his cheek, leaving sticky pink lipstick residue on his skin. 

From then on, Isaac had brushed it off as a personal thing. Mommy and daddy always told him, “Everyone is different. If you like something, it doesn't necessarily mean that others like it as well.” It made sense.

The first Big Doubt happened when he was eight years old. He had come home, face red and tear-streaked, shoulders hunched in defeat. His daddy immediately scented him from the other room, rushing over to the boy in a matter of seconds. It was not everyday that the front door opened, inviting inside a fresh wave of unhappy pheromones.  
He had bent down and took the boy in his arms, hugging him. “What's wrong, sweetheart?” He pulled his only son back and wiped away the tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. “Are you hurt?”

Isaac shook his head and let himself sob weakly.

Stephen's alpha-instincts were kicking in. Part of him grew saddened and protective over the poor boy. The other part grew angry and aggressive, itching to seek out and obliterate the source of his child's discomfort. He picked the blond up and cradled him, a long, muscled nest of arms. The boy buried his face into his father's shirt and continued to cry, carrying on like that for a few good minutes before quieting down. “Can you tell me what's wrong, Isaac?” Stephen asked gently as he brushed a few stray hairs away from his son's sweaty forehead. “Did something happen at school?”

He nodded, his tiny shoulders shaking from repressed crying.

Stephen felt unreasonably panicky. Isaac hadn't ever smelled this miserable. He silently wished that Aaron had chosen a different time to go grocery shopping. Perhaps this was a matter best suited for a mother to handle? The man didn't know, but he would try.  
“Shh, breathe, baby.” He cooed and rubbed the boy's back. “Tell daddy what happened.”

Isaac attempted an explanation, but his words fell from his mouth like rocks, incomprehensible and heavy on his tongue. Finally, he managed to stutter, “T-T-They made f-fun of m-me today...” 

Stephen sat down on the nearby couch, Isaac still in his arms. “Who?” He felt his inner-alpha emerging, caused by thoughts of young alphas picking on and teasing his little boy. It was a common occurrence- young alphas tended to taunt their omegan peers in order to gain their attention, unable to express themselves properly. It still made Stephen want to snuff them out.

“The omegas...” The blond sniffled.

“The omegas?” Stephen felt his anger become replaced with momentary confusion. Omegas rarely ever became nasty with each other- they were generally gentle, sweet as could be- at least the younger ones were. Their teenage years could become complicated. “Why would they do that?” Perhaps Isaac had misinterpreted something. Yes, that's it. It was probably just a misunderstanding. He pressed when he wasn't answered, “What did they say, hm?”

“They said I'm ugly, daddy...” 

Had that sound been Stephen's heart breaking in half? He was certain it was. He asked, voice strained, “What?”

“T-they said I was u-ugly... m-my hair's too short... I... I-I'm too tall...” The boy's face was scrunched as he cried, holding onto his father's shirt for dear life. “I-I look like an alpha...” He admitted, ashamed.

Stephen's mouth was agape. Sure, Isaac was a little... tomboyish. He liked to keep his hair shorter than usual because he didn't like it in his face, but he played sports, so it was fine. He was taller than average, but not freakishly so. And if Stephen had anything to say about the boy's appearance, it was that Isaac's eyes were beautiful, his nose cute as a button, and his freckles enchanting. He could go on and on. How could someone not see how beautiful Isaac was? He hugged the boy closer and whispered, “No, no, no, Isaac, you're perfect, do you hear me? You're a beautiful omega.”

Then why, Isaac wondered, did he feel so utterly hideous?

Omegas his age were playing dress up inside, playing “house” and acting out bonding ceremonies with their less-than-enthusiastic alpha-brothers or friends. Meanwhile Isaac was outside, climbing trees or playing kickball with his friends- all alphas. He was accepted there, treated without discrimination. When he won a game, he won on his own merits, not tolerating the alphas' desires to go easy on him. He loved a challenge.

But was it worth it if it made him a freak?

Isaac's second Big Doubt occurred when he was fourteen. Since his “tomboy” years, he'd grown his hair longer, letting it touch his shoulders in curly blond waves. He stuck with softball (despite his initial fascination with baseball, every team in his area was alpha-only), and that was that was the only sport he played. He dressed appropriately now, ditching his baggy tees and jeans in favor of floral print tank tops with ruffles, mid-thigh shorts that showed off his toned, tanned legs, and cute sundresses that fluttered in the breeze. By now, the stigma of being different had worn away, and he was friends with some of the prettiest omegas in school. 

His clothes were restrictive, but he had friends, and that was enough for him.

Isaac had been sleeping over at a friend's house- Cadence's house, to be specific. Cadence was a prime example of what a young omega should be- small, delicate, fair skinned and chaste. 

His silky, red hair fell in waves over his developing chest and he always wore clothes that showed just enough skin, but not too much. Every time he flashed his perfect smile at Isaac, the blond's heart sped up just a bit, and his blood ran hotter. Cadence was immaculate on the outside, yes, but he was even more amazing on the inside. Cadence was a truly great person.

They had been gathered on the redhead's bed, a group of five omegas, gossiping about which alphas they found cute and which ones they found sexy.

“I think Garret is sexy.” One of them said.

Isaac internally winced, but nodded along with the others anyway. Garret had been like his brother when they were growing up.

“Isaac.” Cadence said with a sweet smile. His beautiful lips and perfect white teeth were mesmerizing. “You haven't told us who you like. Spill.” 

Isaac blushed and looked down with a shrug. When he thought of someone he really liked, all he could see in his mind was Cadence's sweet face. 

“He definitely has a crush.” One of the omegas exclaimed giddily.

“Umm...” The blond though of an alpha he might, maybe, could imagine kissing on the cheek without barfing. “Michael.”

Michael, while not a close friend, had always been nice to Isaac. He frequently offered to carry the omega's book bag, sent smiles his way very often, and even offered his jacket with a huge grin when Isaac had forgotten his umbrella one rainy day. It didn't take a rocket-scientist to realize that he was in love with Isaac.

“He is so in love with you.” One of the omegas gasped, “This is perfect! We could totally set you guys up!” The rest of them agreed.

Isaac shrugged. He wasn't particularly interested in Michael that way. So he made up an excuse, “I don't know if my dad would like that...”

They all brushed it off- secret boyfriends were not uncommon among teenage omegas. If you're afraid their scent has rubbed off on you, just shower or spray on some strong perfume to mask it. Your father would be none the wiser, they assured.

That night, underneath a big blanket in the middle of the living room, Cadence asked Isaac if he liked omegas.

Isaac had fervently denied.

Cadence wasn't convinced.

Isaac and Cadence experienced their first kiss that night, awkward and slippery, but magical all the same.

Cadence moved away the next summer.

Isaac was depressed.

His third Big Doubt had occurred when he was sixteen.

After years of pining, Michael had finally gotten Isaac to go on a date with him. They stopped and had dinner at an Italian restaurant, laughing and discussing sports the whole time, debating over which one was the most physically demanding. Michael felt like they connected, while Isaac felt like they were deepening a brotherly bond. As cliché as it was, they saw a movie as well. It was a romantic comedy about an awkward omega who focused more on his career than he did on his love life. At the end, of course, he had married a big, strong alpha and had a litter before returning to his career, albeit not as committed.

Isaac pretended to find it great.  
Michael drove him home, stopping in front of the omega's house and leaning over slightly with a sheepish smile. He pecked the blond on the lips, enjoying the way Isaac blushed and stuttered his goodbyes before leaving, thanking the alpha for a great time.

Isaac rushed up to his room, past his curious mother and suspicious father, and locked himself in his room. He was mortified. Why had the kiss felt wrong? Why didn't it feel like the kiss that he'd shared with Cadence a long time ago? He buried his face in his hands and shrugged his parents off, claiming that he'd had a great time and was just tired.

Isaac's fourth (and biggest) Doubt occurred on his eighteenth birthday. He was still in a reluctant relationship with Michael, and the farthest they'd ever gone was an awkward and unpleasant clashing of teeth and lips, but the alpha seemed unfazed. He was absolutely stuck on Isaac.

Isaac was going to find out, once and for all, if he could go on being with Michael, if he really was meant to be with an alpha. He desperately hoped that he was.

Because who wants to be different?

Being eighteen, and therefor legally able to make his own decisions with what he wanted to do with his privates, he told his parents not to wait up.

Daddy was not pleased, even threatening to spank Isaac (which he hadn't done since the boy was twelve) if he stepped even one foot out of the house.

The blond had risked it, sprinting quickly out of the house and locking the car door before his father could open it and beat the living daylights out of his backside. Isaac had told him to step back, as he was going to back the car out of the driveway, and wait until he got home that night to punish him. Stephen reluctantly complied, but not before slamming an open palm on the window in anger.

He drove, teary eyed and hoping that his father did not follow him. Isaac had to know. He needed this- he couldn't go on through life awkwardly dating and leading on alphas while simultaneously daydreaming about what it would be like to date an omega, to kiss and touch an omega, to love an omega.

He arrived at Michael's apartment. It was small and not anything special, but it was the alpha's own, and he was proud of that. 

Isaac knocked on the door, wrapping his arms around himself in the chilly night. The door opened almost immediately, revealing a tall, lanky alpha with a toothy smile and bright blue eyes. He ushered the omega inside, asking if he wanted a blanket, or some hot tea.

Isaac shook his head, unable to wait any longer. He took the alpha's face in his hands and kissed him fiercely, ignoring the churning in his stomach as he did so. Maybe he wasn't a kisser. Maybe he was more into the actual act of having sex. Yeah, that was probably it.

Their lips eventually synchronized, thanks to practice. It was okay.

Michael's hands found the blond's waist, running up and down the firm, taut flesh. He broke away and asked, “Are you... you want to...?”

“I want you to fuck me, Michael.” Isaac said with finality.

That night, the blond saw a side to Michael that he hadn't known existed.

Aggression.

Michael captured his lips again and growled into the kiss, squeezing the omega's hips closer to his own, letting the blond feel his growing arousal. Isaac felt a bit sick, but told himself that it was just his nerves.

It didn't take long for them to find themselves sprawled out on Michael's bed, naked and panting. Michael might have been lanky, but he was dense with muscle, as alphas tended to be.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious, Isaac looked away. He was definitely not the hottest omega around, at least it was what he told himself. His chest was flat and childish, he was thin and a bit bony, albeit firm and toned from softball, and his hips and thighs sported a few faded stretchmarks from the strain of puberty. Michael was probably expecting him to look sexier.

So it came as a surprise when the alpha sighed lustily, running a hand over Isaac's chest, taking a nipple between his fingers and pinching. Isaac tried to look like he enjoyed the rough touch, tried to make it seem as though he liked the sight Michael's knot, huge and heavy between the man's thighs. Aside from his heat, Isaac found them strange and just a bit repulsive, giant and veiny compared to his own penis, which was small and pink. Omega-parts look so much prettier, he thought.

Michael's hand came down on the omega's shriveled penis, massaging the palm of his calloused hand against it. Isaac closed his eyes, absently imagining a soft, slender hand on his penis, feverishly working him to orgasm. It worked, and the appendage began to swell under the alpha's touch, much to Michael's enjoyment. Again, as two thick fingers slid into his pussy, teasing his sweet spot, Isaac couldn't help but imagine an omega doing it, their sweet breath brushing over his twitching cock. 

A whiskered kiss brought him out of his reverie. “You can... do it now.” He panted. “Just don't knot me, okay?”

Fingers still working Isaac's pussy, Michael agreed. He stood on his knees, parting the omega's thighs and marveling at the wet, spastic pussy between his boyfriend's cheeks.

When the head popped in, Isaac knew that this was going to hurt. He had never trained his pussy with toys before, because he like fingering himself, pretending that a pretty omega was pleasing him during his heats. He gnashed his teeth and tried not to whimper- omega princes used to be completely abstinent until marriage, forced to suffer through their heats with chastity devices locked around their bits, making it impossible to get hard. Their pussies were ignored as well, and if they tried to slip a finger in there, their backsides were brutally whipped by the King in front of all the servants. 

If the omegas before him had survived that, he could surely go through with this. Right?

Isaac wasn't so sure...

Michael's breath was heavy on his chest, the alpha's mouth nipping at his soft nipples as he let the boy's surprisingly tight entrance adjust to the tip of his cock. After another minute, he couldn't help bucking his hips a bit, his inner-alpha restless at the prospect of breeding a virgin. Resolve weakened, he held his cock by the knot so as not to thrust too far, and slid half of his length into Isaac.

The blond wailed. 

No, he couldn't do this- Michael was far too big. His hole ached, sharp pain shooting down his legs and tingling in his toes. The man wasn't even fully sheathed, yet Isaac felt as if he'd torn already. “Stop... Stop! Stop!” He cried, placing his hands on the man's chest and pushing him away. 

The words coming from his boyfriend were fuzzy. All Michael could hear was, “Breed him, breed him, knot him.” He felt himself being forced back and growled, nipping at the omega's neck and thrusting shallowly into the blond.   
Only when he scented the pungent mixture of omegan tears and distress did he pull back, knot deflating. The smell felt like a punch to the nose, disorienting him and making his protective instincts kick in full-gear. His omega feared something, or someone, and the need to defend the boy surpassed the alpha's instinct to fuck.

He sat up, cock sliding out of the boy, slightly bloody. He let a distressed whine escape his throat. He'd hurt his omega. Michael worried his lip and hung his head, ashamed. “I'm so sorry.” He said, words hanging desperate and lonely in between them. “I...” He stopped, realizing that words wouldn't ease Isaac, and swiped at his eyes discreetly. “Hold on, I'll be right back.”

He returned with a wet washcloth, tissues and a jar of salve. He cleaned the boy of dried slick and blood before blotting a few tissues over the injury, drying him. He finished with the salve, gingerly dabbing it over the torn skin. It wasn't terrible, nothing to rush to the hospital about, but more than enough to send an alpha into a spiral of guilt. He had hurt his omega because of his own selfishness. It was disgraceful, going against everything he'd been taught since childhood. An alpha's number one role was to protect. Michael had failed at it.

By the time his wound had been cleaned, Isaac's sobbing died down. He still smelled of injury and fear, but not as much as he had. Michael fought the urge to curse and shout, angry with himself. Instead he said, “I'm so sorry, Isaac.”

The blond merely lay there, completely still save for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. “I'm sorry too, Mike.”

The alpha shook his head. “No, no it's not your fault. It was me. I was being se-”

“I'm so sorry, Michael.” Isaac admitted, covering his face with his hands. He said shakily, through another onslaught of tears, “I... I haven't been honest with you.”

Michael swallowed nervously. “W-what do you mean, Isaac?”

The blond sobbed and sat up, fighting the urge to wince at the sharp pain between his thighs. He held the alpha's hand, warm and thick but limp in his own slender palm. “I love you, Michael.” His voice was strained, words dripping like poison from his tongue. They tasted bitter. “But I can't love you the way you want me to.”

Michael shook his head slowly. It was his turn to cry, a lone tear trailing down his cheek. “No, Isaac, no, I'm sorry, I promise this won't happen again. Please, I thought...” He inhaled unevenly, disbelief heavy in his mind, “I've loved you ever since I could remember, Isaac. Y-you've always been everything I've ever wanted... I love you, I can't- you can't- I love y-”

Isaac's lip quivered as he shook his head, gripping the alpha's hand tighter. “I know, Michael, I know, I'm sorry, Michael-”

“Why, then? Don't you love me?!”

Isaac nodded furiously. “I do, Michael, I love you like my brother!” The alpha chuckled mirthlessly and let his tears fall freely. “I have tried to love you back, Michael, I wanted- I want- to love you like a lover, I do, but I can't-”

“Just stop.” The alpha's voice sounded broken, reminding Isaac of a kicked puppy. “Who is he? Is he stronger? Smarter? Isaac, I'll do anything, anything, alright? I'll work out more, I promise, I'll get smarter, just tell me what you want me to do-”

The omega placed a hand over the alpha's mouth, eyes glassy with tears. “There's not another alpha.”

Brows furrowed with disbelief, Michael mumbled through the other's palm, “Why don't you love me?”

This was the moment of truth. Isaac had tried to avoid admitting this to himself all his life. Now was the time when he had to say it aloud to himself, as well as the person he had been leading on. “I...” He caught his breath, trying not to chicken out and give some half-assed excuse. There was no turning back, he couldn’t turn back. It was now or never. “I'm... I like...” His voice was shaky and hesitant, “I like omegas, Michael... I can't... I'm sorry...” His voice was high-pitched with worry, gaze averted.

Michael was quiet for a long time, long enough for Isaac to gather enough nerve to look up, expecting a glare or a scowl. But no, Michael just looked hurt.

Isaac let Michael drive him home that night. Not a word had been spoken since the truth came out, and it was a small relief for the blond. He was disgusted with himself, and didn't want to dwell up on that fact.

Michael drove away without so much as a goodbye, or comment about when would be a good time for Isaac to come get his own car, or retrieve the jacket he'd forgotten.

Isaac walked up to his home, cold and dejected, not even noticing the tears that dripped from his chin. 

The front door opened before he could reach the porch, revealing a sleepy but very perturbed father. He reached the man, standing mere inches away, feeling like a small boy again. He was taken by the shoulders, the man's worried face close to his. “My God, Isaac, what's wrong? Did he hurt you?” Anger forgotten, the alpha thought the worst. His son smelled of depression, slick, alpha, and dried blood.

Unable to explain himself, Isaac fell into his father's arms. He truly did feel like a child again, hurt, confused and feeling absolutely freakish.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Well, don't hit me for not giving it a happy ending. 
> 
> If you want a second chapter, let me know. I kind of want to write about Isaac's first omega-boyfriend... only if I can share it with you guys, though. :)


End file.
